Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined.

There are those who work all day. Those who dream all day. 

And those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. 

Go into the third category because there’s virtually no competition.
~Steven J Ross~

Dreams... How do you make your dreams come true? What are your steps to making your dreams come true? Or have you just given up on them, thinking that that's all they are; just dreams?





Ever since I was a little girl, I've had rather big dreams. I've always wanted to be more, do more and see more than that average lifestyle would normally offer. No, I've never had a desire to become famous, an actress or anything like that.












I can really relate to Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I've had dreams that some said were unrealistic and impossible. And I've always been viewed as a dreamer. In my opinion, there's nothing wrong in being a dreamer. You just have to remember that you live in the real world, and work to make those dreams come true.














With proper planning and real effort, you can come far in realizing your dreams. Here's a little challenge for you. Find a piece of paper (or do it digitally). Start off with three headers:
The first header is for things that "you can definitely do."
The second header for things "you feel quite possible to do."




And finally, make a third header for the things you consider "impossible to accomplish."









Write down some of your goals you'd like to achieve in life, divided in the three categories.
First you focus on the goals under the first header, that is things "you can definitely do."






Check them one by one as you accomplish them. When you are coming to an end for this category, start achieving the goals under the next header, the one with things "you feel quite possible to do."
As your goals for the second header get accomplished, start moving the goals from the third category, things "impossible to accomplish" to the list of things "you feel quite possible to do".
 


The process makes your goals first thought to be impossible to achieve, easier to reach. You will transform those impossible dreams into quite tangible goals. And that's the idea here; To get rid of all limits, dream big, reach high, but focus on working hard to reach those goals. Start small, and more forward step by step.









Are you up for the challenge? I'll start working on my list, and post it in on Monday. By giving myself that deadline, I won't put it off, as I normally do ;)











To make your dreams come true, you have to be rather fearless. You can't be scared of failure, of letting go of things or of standing on your own. People you love may challenge you, telling you that your dreams are impossible. But I know from experience that dreams can come true. Even those seeming unrealistic.










xx,
Dark Duchess

The purpose of our lives is to be happy

Success is not the key to happiness. 

Happiness is the key to success. 

If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

~Albert Schweitzer~

One of my goals in this project is to find my happiness again. I used to find joy in the small things, and was able to see something positive in most anything that happened. I want that back!



So, how do one go about finding happiness, true happiness? How is it possible to make a change of attitude?

Like I wrote in one of my previous posts: To attain a goal, it's important to divde the goal into smaller pieces. It can be daily or weekly goals, and should be goals that are small enough to achieve, yet big enough to give you some progress. If your goal is to excercise more, start off with a few minutes a day, and build on your success. You'll soon see some progress! And I've written them down, and put them on my fridge, so that I'll see the goals several times a day.

Here are my list over things to do each day to become more positive:

• Stretch every morning, and start the day with a smile.
• Write at least one positive thing in my blog a day.
• Go for a walk every day.
• Do one thing each day, to reach the other goals.
• Enjoy my senses: Smell, touch, see, listen, taste. 
• Love: Friends, family, animals. 
• Dance!
• End each day with reviewing and envisioning my goals.

And I'll have to challenge myself every day.

No one is in control of your happiness but you; 

therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself 

or your life that you want to change.

~Barbara DeAngelis~

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes

Desire is the key to motivation, 

but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal.

A commitment to excellence. 

That will enable you to attain the success you seek. 

~Mario Andrett~

 In order to reach the goals set, it's important to find the right motivation to work towards achieving them. Because they probably won't come easy, and there will be obstacles along the way.

There will be days where you want to give up, and admit defeat.

There will be days where your mind tells you that those goals are impossible. What will keep you motivated to getting up every day, and keep you on the right track towards your destination? What will keep you moving? It's unlikely that anything  will happen if you just sit there, and wait for everything to fall in your lap.

In psychology, motivation is defined as "the process that initiates, guides and maintains goal-oriented behaviors. Motivation is what causes us to act, whether it is getting a glass of water to reduce thirst or reading a book to gain knowledge. It involves the biological, emotional, social and cognitive forces that activate behavior."

Here are some of my 9 best tips for staying motivated:

• Focus. Keep focused at one goal at a time. It's easier to get distracted if you're separating your energy on several goals at once.
• Announce your goal. It's harder to give up on a goal when others know about it. Maybe someone you know have the same goal. You could challenge each other, draw from each others experience, and support each other on the way.
• Visualize achieving your goal. Make a clear mental image of how things would be when you've reached each of your goals. Examine what it would feel like. Picture yourself where you want to be. Do this every day, make it a routine.
• Write down your goals, and stick them on the bathroom mirror, or somewhere else where you'll see them several times a day.
• Set yourself small goals, that will, step by step, take you closer to your main goal. The small goals should be daily and/or weekly goals, monthly goals, and so on. If your big goal is to run a marathon, set goals for how far you'll run each day, and each week.
• Don't get discouraged if you feel like you're going in the wrong direction. Instead, see what you need to change, to get back on track. Learn from your mistakes, but don't bury your head in negative thoughts. Analyze what went wrong, and take the steps to correct it.
• Keeping your eyes on the top is important, but don't forget to take a breather along the way, to stop and enjoy the view and of how far you've come. Every step in the right direction is a success. Take pride in them!
• Seek inspiration from others. Read about other people who have achieved the same goal that you have. Read books on the subject. Find and follow blogs, watch inspirational TV-shows, go to motivational lectures.
• Don't give up, don't let negative thoughts get the better of you. Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to!
  

How do you keep motivated? I'd love to hear other's thoughts on the subject.

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.
~Tommy Lasord~

xx,

Dark Duchess

Goals allow you to control the direction of change in your favor

I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacation with better care than they do their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change.

~Jim Rohn~

Where do I want to go? What do I want to change to get there? What direction should I take? What are my goals?

The goal you set must be challenging. 

 At the same time, it should be realistic and attainable, 

not impossible to reach. 

 It should be challenging enough to make you stretch, 

but not so far that you break. 

~ Rick Hansen~

In order to do something, to make a real change in your life, I believe that you have to make some goals for yourself. Maybe some people would say that you should start with the little things, small goals that are achievable. But for me, that's going about it the wrong way. I would rather start with stating those big, important goals. They will give me the direction for my path. After that, I can figure out just how to get there. Much like planning a trip. There might be several ways to reach those bigger goals.

People with goals succeed because they know where they're going.
~Earl Nightingale~

 

Difficult questions, really. It's quite hard to grasp those fleething thoughts, and putting them down in a blog. But I'll try. If you need some inspiration to find your goals, here are the World's 100 Most Popular Goals. Some of my goals made the list.

What are my goals?

• Be happy. Sounds quite simple, doesn't it? 
• Have a positive outlook on life and people.
• Find myself again. I think this goal is strongly connected with the first one.
• Be more confident.
• Get back in touch with some old friends, and make some new ones.
• Expand my company, make it an even bigger success, and be able to divert my attention to other projects.
• Get that big house with a big yard. I'm not quite sure where though, as in which side of the Atlantic. Maybe I should be bold and say one house on each side of the Atlantic? Attainable? Who knows.
• Get that black belt in karate.
• Find my career
• Travel to all of those places I want to go.
• Find Mr. Right. Someone who appreciates me, deserves me, and loves me for me. 

I'm sure that I've forgotten to put down a few things. I have a feeling that the list will be updated a few times. Looking at the list though, I can tell that several goals are connected. Some of them may a little farfetched, but the only way to reach them, is to believe in them, work hard, and never give up.

After defining all of the goals, they need to be broken down into smaller steps. It's important to have the smaller goals to get a sense of progress, but to keep the larger goals in sight, to keep on going in the right direction.


So, what are your goals? Where do you want to go in life? Dare to reach for the moon. If you miss, you'll still be among the stars.

xx,
Dark Duchess

To be or not to be...or what to be?

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. 

If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

~Mahatma Gandhi~ 

Is it possible that a change in attitude can change your whole life, and make dreams come true? Can a person really become whatever he or she wants? Will positive thinking bring positive things back into my life again?



I don't know, but this is my self experiment to see if changing the way I think, can help change my life too. I used to be such a positive and happy person. Always having a smile on my face, I took every hardship as a challenge, as a step that would make me stronger.




And really, I had it all: A great job that I loved, good friends, an amazing place to live, with everything I could wish for.

Then he came along... Yeah, of course it had to be a man that changed everything. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was perfectly fine living a single life, doing whatever I wanted. At first I didn't care for him, he kept courting me, doing everything he could think of to charm me. In the end, it worked. All of the sudden my life went from happy, to exhilarating, exciting, adventurous. I never knew what he would plan, he always had some surprise at hand.



He seemed to be perfect: Good-looking, funny, intelligent. He had a fancy job, big house, loads of money, a fantastic family. Everything was perfect. On the surface. Then things started to change, and he changed me, broke me down, tore me to pieces.



Slowly I started believing what he was saying. That I was worthelss, that no-one but him wanted me, and that I could never be successful at anything.




Thankfully I had the sense to get away from him, far away. But the thoughs he put into my head are still there. The scars are still visible, and I can't bring myself to smile over the small things anymore. I believe what he wanted me to believe: That I am small, insignificant, worthless. I can't seem to find that positive outlook on life. But I do want to! I don't want to let him win!

I've lost many friends, the distance makes it hard to keep in touch, and I'm not the cheerful person they used to love. Although I still have a great job, things are not the same as before. And I loathe the place I live.

This is my project, my fight to get my life back. I really hope that changing my whole outlook on life, will change my whole life. I hope that I can be happy and sunny again. And I hope that Gandhi's wise words really are true. That if I start believing in myself again, if I believe that I can be happy and successful, that it will come true. So this will be my self help blog, my experiment.


Can I succeed?

Can thoughts change your life? Can dreams really come true if you want them to?




xoxo,
The Dark Duchess