I'll take care of you...

I love this song by Drake and Rihanna, and I think this is one of the most beautiful music videos I've seen. Both the song and the music video touches my heart.

There are so many symbols in the video: The Bull represents Chris Brown (he's a Taurus), the Fish represents Rihanna (she's a Pisces), and the Blue Jay is a shout out to Drake's home town: Toronto (their baseball team the Toronto Blue Jays).


Abuse is hard to deal with, hard to get over, it's still there, years later, like scars under the skin. Even with all the pain, all the fear, and all of those horrible memories, there's still a part of me that's longing back to him.

How twisted is that? I mean, we had fun, he was an intelligent, funny, popular and good-looking man. He knew how to be a gentleman when he wanted to, and so much of the relationship was just like a fairy tale.

"It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear
You almost feel ashamed
That someone could be that important
That without them, you feel like nothing
No one will ever understand how much it hurts
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you
And when it's over, and it's gone
You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back
So that you could have the good"

I've only opened up to one guy about the abusive relationship I was in. Instead of being understanding and kind about it, he took every chance he could get to use it against me. I think I'll keep my scars to myself from now on. It's bad enough having them, but having someone trample all over them, is like being abused all over again.

My scars are mine, I got out, I survived.
My secret, my life, my dark side...

Procrastination...

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. 

This is the man who discovered electricity. 

You think more people would listen to what he had to say. 

I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. 

Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, 

because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? 

The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. 

We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, 

heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. 

We have to make our own mistakes. 

We have to learn our own lessons. 

We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. 

Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. 

That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, 

and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

~Dr. Meredith Grey~

I am a master of procrastination. Why is it that I always seem to put things off until last minute?
I certainly don't get any pleasure from postponing all of the things that I want to get done. Instead of being able to check them off of my to-do-list, I add them to that everlasting to-do list, the one that wakes me up in the middle of the night *sigh* Why is it so difficult to just get things over with?
Right now, my mental list over things to be done seems endless. And I've been searching the net to find some inspiration, some miracle cure to get me going. But I guess today's quote is right: We all need to learn our own lessons through our own mistakes. It would be great to grab every possibility that's handed to me, instead of postponing them all. One day, the possibilities may run out, and all that's left, is the regret of things not done.

I still haven't made that list of goals that I've been writing about. And how on earth will I get anywhere without knowing where I want to go?
Well, I'm dead tired now, and not making much sense. But I will try to find some tips on how to rid yourself of procrastination (tomorrow, right? lol). Because I know that I'm not alone. Until next time... Try to do at least one thing that you've been putting off for a while. It doesn't have to be scary, just something small. I'll make an appointment for my dog's vaccination right now, and I've written this half-hearted post.

Sleep tight,
Dark Duchess.